Eleventh Hour.....

This is a long due post...one I’ve been attempting to write since a year now but something always got on my way. The first time I felt this unwielding emotion was a year back. It was a Sunday morning and I was home for my winter vacations. After my breakfast I lethargically dragged myself across the hallway and turned on the television. As I zapped through the channels my attention got caught in a documentary aired by discovery channel, “The eleventh hour.” It was about the earth’s future.....Our future. The catastrophe approaching us.......The terrible specter of the aftermath of the judgement day. I felt queasiness spread through me. A year later as I watched a movie on my laptop a similar feeling overcame me. As the movie proceeded the queasiness in the gut returned, then worsened and became something dismayingly familiar.
The movie was "2012." When this movie was released the question of the end of the world loomed overhead. Many people refused to accept it, some merely waved it off like a fly while others said the world would end but not in the near future. Well I am indecisive and in a dilemma about this entire issue.
I don’t want to think that the human race or the world would come to an end one day because the thought in itself is very horrifying. But being a student of science I simply cannot overlook the indications scientists and geologists have been giving us. The earth is dying slowly and painfully and we are its muted audience.
Well I was once having a chat with my friend about this when his question stunned me. He asked me if I was willing to give up travelling by cars and ride a bicycle instead. As I contemplated over it I realised that even I was not willing to do it!!! Asking anybody else was simply preposterous. But I realised the comforts of today which we are so accustomed to might turn into monstrous grips strangling our children tomorrow. A little self- sacrifice from each one of us might just be able to save the world for our children to grow old in.....I remember seeing a little girl holding a poster once which said "Save the world till I grow up". I think its time we give a little more thought to what the little one meant......

On my Own..........

I thought I could do it. That’s what I repeated to myself time and over again as I nervously shoved my clothes into the bag and started pacing the room for the third time in a row. I knew it was easy and plain but the little voice in the back of my head diluted my belief. More than anything else my sister’s nervousness and doubt was getting on my nerves. But I had to do it. I was left with no option after all. After an hour and half I was climbing through the doors of a blue coloured air-conditioned bus dragging my oversized bag and my laptop sloping down my shoulder. I searched for a seat preferably with a women or girl but found none, so my next instinct was to look for the most decent and well- dressed man I could find with an empty seat by his side of course! As I scanned the faces of the strangers staring back at me I hurried and sat at the nearest empty seat I could find which was nearly at the end of the bus. I settled in and wished I had travelled at night. It was a familiar activity and one I was getting rather accustomed to. I liked the dark. I found solace and peace when I knew the people around me couldn’t see me or my face. I didn’t have to keep my emotions in check everytime. Light had its own advantages too but I always preferred the dark. I closed my eyes to get over the nauseating feeling I get everytime I am on a bus or feel claustrophobic. It was bright outside but the air still held the promise of the December cold. I shifted the curtains to shield my eyes and tried to nap but in vain. Sleep was elusive and the driver made it a point that we stay awake. He dangerously swayed the bus after every few minutes or hit the brakes so hard that we had to hold onto anything that we could find to keep us from being thrown out of our seats. I hate video coaches and adding to my dismay here I was........ sitting in one. The movie started and I tried to watch it for sometime but I was too restless to concentrate. So I took my i-pod out of my bag and thrust the ear-phones into my ears. Music soothes me when I am not sensitive. But it was not a day I could numb my sensitivity with my indifference. “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.” So they came, the tormenting and excruciating memories. The ones I often try to avoid to keep my sanity intact. I tried to concentrate on the music and soon got absorbed in it. It’s not until I hear the song “I don’t want to” by Aerosmith that I snap my eyes open and reprimand myself for not deleting it from my playlist. I had listened to my entire playlist for the fifth time when we finally reached Delhi and the nauseating feeling at the pit of my stomach returned.
I called my sister and she hurried through the instructions once more just to make sure I got there safe and sound and more importantly in “one piece” as she said it. I got down from the bus and hurried through the flock of cab and auto drivers screaming at the top of their lungs about going to places I vaguely recalled I heard the names of. As I wheeled my luggage through the crowd and uneven ground I didn’t pay much attention to where I was heading and ended up near a holed wall the remains of which was still lying on the other side of it. I climbed through the hole and it took me over a minute to finally get my luggage on the other side. As I started climbing the stairs with the bone-crashing, heavy bag I was disgusted with myself for bringing so many clothes and shoes!!!!
The toughest part of my journey began now. I had to travel by metro to my relative’s place and they would receive me from there. The plan was simple and uncomplicated if one knew which metro and line to take. I knew I had to take the yellow line first but as I approached the map red, yellow, blue...all the colours swam across and I thought I was colourblind. Frantically I searched for a helping face who wouldn’t misguide me and asked a girl passing by which platform was for the yellow line. The girl guided me well but I guess the cloud of misfortune was still over-pouring on me. As I descended the stairs contemplating what to do next I missed a step and rolled down. I clutched the railing nearby but the bag I was holding was still rolling down due to its high inertia and pulled me a few steps further before I could finally get hold of it. The amazing part of this entire incident was nobody came to help. I didn’t know what to think of it. I spared myself this thought at that time and dusted myself off and continued my way.
The train finally came and I realised getting on that train was an impossible task. It looked like an agitated mob awaited its arrival just to throw in this case, themselves into it. I prayed to god to help me and with all the courage I could muster boarded the train. There was no air to breathe. I swooned and my knuckles were turning white with the effort to hold on to the over-head railing. People were getting down and I found myself breathing again. I waited for my station to come and got down. I had to take another train in the blue line now. I took the escalators this time. I didn’t want to risk breaking my back or hand. This time as I waited for the train a plan struck me. People getting into the train used to rush in so fast that I had to elbow my way through them and with the bag in one hand and laptop in another it was rather difficult. So I just stood at the front of the line and when the train came people pushed me into the train themselves!!!! No effort needed there!!!! The train was over-flowing with people and there was no seat. Even the ladies’ seats were occupied by men!!! It was not until a lady started shouting that these were ladies’ seats that a few men who still had a little dignity left in them stood up. I was standing as well. I looked around and found many people needing those seats more than I did. For the next one hour I stood and continued to watch the people around me. I wasn’t a very observant person until recently and now it amazes me how each individual differs from the other but is still similar in some way. I was supposed to go to Dwarka sector 10 and I didn’t know what to do now because the train stopped at Dwarka and that was the last stop. I got down and looked for a lift or an escalator but alas misfortune follows me like a faithful dog!!!!! As I carried my bag down the stairs, a man offered to help. Although relieved and thankful but I was also cautious of such generous strangers. I gave him my bag and walked by his side and as soon as we reached the bottom of the stairs I took my bag from him. I got the next train to where my relative was supposed to come and pick me up from. I got into the car and sighed relief. Finally I did it.....an overwhelming happiness spread through me as I sat in the car and drifted off to sleep........

Inspiring chats.........

My friend Anish and I chat for long hours and this has become our daily ritual. Even amidst our busy schedules we squeeze out time to enquire how the other was. Our chats vary from music to latest movies, books or anecdotes of our school days. We talk of life and the world or sometimes I simply whine about my monotonous college life and he grumbles about his berserk teachers. It’s always a delight to talk to him. But our last night’s conversation left me a little perturbed. Earlier he had mentioned a book named “Celestine Prophecy” (which I hadn’t heard about). So I asked him to brief it to me till I could get my hands on it!!! What he told, baffled me and urged me to search for the book or all I could about it. And I came across some boggling facts. Things which often applauded my science, my reasoning were getting blurry with each word my mind registered as my eyes slap-dashed the pages. Some bells rung as I contemplated on what I had accumulated in the past few minutes and started scribbling. What the Celestine Prophecy and similar books on religion, spirituality declare applauds our past, a past which I had often mistaken as fiction or magic. But if one takes a closer look at these books... The Bible, The Gita, The Quran.... they all hold the answers to our untold queries. When I was a kid I used to watch Mahabharata and Ramayana in the television. What eluded me the most was the immense power these rishis and the prominent characters possessed. As a kid I wanted to compass similar powers. But as time grew on me I started to think that they were fictional because the evidences placed before me by my counterparts failed to impress me. But in the recent years sciences’ progress and attempt to challenge the minds of people like me restored my faith in the implausible power of those people. One thing which I had learnt is... our traditions, our customs, our religion.....is SCIENCE. All those people who possessed such inconceivable powers in ancient times had one thing in common and that is incredible control of their mind and spirit. Noetic science upholds the same. What really amuses me is the fact that man thinks he is in the most scientifically advanced era ever but science has failed him to comprehend the truth of life!!!! Science has failed him to comprehend why "human " has turned into mere "man " !!!!!!
It is universally observed that all religious books point to an epoch where man will go back in time and learn the actual purpose of life. An epoch will come when man will finally shed mundane happiness for spiritual blithe. The time may be now....the time maybe be a thousand years later but I am sure when that time comes “man” will turn into “HU- MAN” again.

An unforgettable trip......

It was a long awaited weekend because I was finally escaping the scrouching heat of Patiala and the dreadful week long classes. My roommates- Abhinav, Manpreet and Varinder and I decided to go on a short vacation to Solan where Abhinav's father was posted. Come thursday and there we were with our bags on our backs and on our way to the bus stand. The next day was a holiday, much to our delight, which meant an extra holiday. As soon as we reached the bus stand we noticed that the place was flooded with people. Walking without bumping into someone was unavoidable. We were standing near the point where the bus was expected to come, but when it did come, the ferocity with which people approached it made me go weak on my knees. Manpreet and Varinder nearly got into the bus but I called them back. I knew I would have been left alone because getting into such a crowded bus was impossible for me. After waiting for nearly twenty minutes much to everybody's dismay we finally fought our way into the bus. Yes, fought our way! You can't get anything done here without fighting and getting into the bus for some people is a question of "life or death " you see!!!
Well after travelling for an hour and quarter we reached Chandigarh. Abhinav's father had sent his driver to collect us from Chandigarh and take us to Solan. As soon as we got into the car a relief spread over me. I was finally leaving the torturous and depressing Patiala ! As we left Chandigarh behind the mountains started erupting up infront of us. Although Chandigarh is at the foothills which meant that one could see the mountains easily on a clear day but even Chandigarh's getting clouded by a heavy blanket of dust and smoke these days. As we moved on I felt cool air tapping at my cheek and I felt a calmness I sought for all these days.I closed my eyes to hold on to that feeling a little longer. As we chatted our way to Solan I hardly felt the nausea which usually paralyses me when I travel to mountains. I am aeronausiphobic !!!

As soon as we reached Abhinav's place we got a hearty welcome from her mother and father who were awaiting our arrival at the doorstep. Abhinav had forewarned us of her elder brother whose sole motivate in life according to her was to insult and mock her!!!! I surmised we could very well be his targets too. Dinner was wonderful. Aunty had made a curry of mushroom which Uncle had brought from his office. Abhinav's dad was the director in the Mushroom Research Centre situated in Solan which meant unlimited supply of mushroom year long !!!! We had our dinner and then had a feast of ice-creams. I have the habit of eating ice-cream with coke, so by the time we finished I was lying down on my back with such a heavy stomach that I wasn't even able to get up. It took an enormous effort to get up from the chair and go to the bedroom to sleep. We dozed off as soon as our bodies touched the bed and drifted into our dreamworlds. I am generally an early riser as compared to my friends who delight in sleeping till twelve or sometimes even two in the afternoon. I get up by eight or nine. But the next day the murmering from the kitchen stirred me from my sleep at seven in the morning and I sluggishly rubbed off my eyes and took a look outside. I couldn't see much as the curtains were drawn. So I got up from the bed and went out. I met Uncle and Aunty in the kitchen and bestowed them with a sleepy good morning and cleaned myself up. Uncle and Aunty had told me the night before that the famous "TOY TRAIN" of Shimla goes down the railway line adjacent to their home. So I hurried and got ready to see my first Toy train of the day. I was pretty excited and now that I sit back and think about it I assume I must 've been jumping up and down when Uncle took me to see it because even times after that when the train passed by Uncle used to give me a specutative look to catch a glimpes if I was rushing outside to watch it again.As I hurried back to the room to narrate what I had seen to my friends they somnelently nodded and drifted off to sleep again.
The next few hours were a blur as we went to the Mushroom Centre to see the variety of mushrooms developed and the technology used to do so. Abhinav's brother accompanied us to the centre where he was reduced to a photographer!!! Courtesy to the four erratic teenager girls who to him must have seemed like were just set loose from some retard centre !!!!! We wanted to click pictures of the mushrooms and with the mushrooms, of the flowers and with the flowers!!!! Our requests were never ending and he politely obliged to our wierd and nerve-cracking requests until he could take it no more and bellowed us to follow him home. Lunch is always a delight at home. Especially for hostellers who eat to live. I solely belong to this category of people although my friends are somewhere on the peripheral. In the afternoon uncle and aunty took us to an university which was a mesmerising and enchanting place. The serenity and tranquility of the place shocked me. It's soothing effect relaxed my senses and it felt heavenly. We roamed around the place while uncle and aunty stayed behind at the VC's place and chatted with him. ( Uncle was a friend of the VC of the university and thats why free access or else getting into such universities without prior permission is rather challenging.) As we roamed around and started chatting, all of us agreed to one point that living here for four years would be really monotonous and frustrating at times. We were so used to the noise and obstreperosity of city life that the very thought of silence scared and tormented us. As we looked around I stopped at a place which oversaw a large area beneath revealing spans of untamed wildness. It was consoling to find places still untouched by human civilization. As the time for us to go back home approached we found ourselves admiring and plotting to have the VC's house. It was a beautiful place to dwell and have parties!!! On our way back we made a little stop at the market which was flocked by people in large numbers. We bought a variety of ice-creams....another after dinner ice-cream extravaganza!!!!
The next day was full of fun and frolic as we planned to travel on the toy train. As none of us had ever boarded a toy train so it was a thrill for all of us. Aunty accompanied us this time. The train we were supposed to board had five coaches!!!! If one could find space to set a foot in the train- it was an achievement. We elbowed our way into a coach which was already so full that it seemed like an overeaten glutton ready to throw out at any moment. The train journey was rather fascinating amidst the crowd and songs which the people were singing. As we got down the train rain started pouring in heavy drops and hit us like bullets. We ran and found shelter beneath the roof which was held up by four posts and which according to them was the station. As the intensity of the rain thinned we walked our way to the place where the car was supposed to recieve us. By the time we reached the main road which seemed to be 200 steps above the station, we were high on our breath. As we waited for the car to come a very funny incident happened. The one which I called the " Audacious eve-teasing." I was standing by the side of the stairs of a shop when I felt something tugging my hair. I didn't have to turn back to see what it was for my friends were frantically screaming at the top of their lungs that there was a monkey on my head !!!! I took a step ahead and shoved it off. Thats when I realised even monkeys had taken a fancy on me!!!! For the next few hours I was the jest. As we reached home after lunch at a hotel we collapsed into our beds and slept. By the time we got up it was late in the evening and not in the mood to eat out again. So we ate whatever was supposed to be served in the evening and called it a night. But sleep eluded us and we ended up watching a movie and then chatting till wee hours of the morning.
We were supposed to go back next morning and as I got up I realised I was going to miss these three days of my life and cherish it till the end of my life. I went upstairs to the terrace to bid a final goodbye to the mountains and the clouds rolling by. My heart ached as I thought of going back to the obstreperous city life again. I looked into the mountains for a long time hoping that I could imprint its image on my mind forever.....like the wonderful memories of this trip imprinted on my mind.

OOXX..........

The mystery behind this subject lies in the keenful observation of numbers.......and you'll soon realise that the obsession with 'Numbers' these days has become phenomenal. I've this unusual habit of looking into car numbers when I am on the road. I don't remember how or from whom I got it but it has turned out to be an obsession for me. Every time I go out I can't help but look at the number plates of as many cars as possible and after months of observation, I noticed something very amusing and at the same time disconcerting......OOXX..... Ninety percent of the big brand cars on road these days have their numbers as OOXX. Possessing a BMW, Audi, Mercedes Benz these days is a status symbol for the social elites and I don't consider it supercilious. "If you have it flaunt it", but what I completely fail to understand is the bizarre obsession with numbers. The very fact that everybody wants to stand apart in the crowd might be a plausible answer to my unsettling callow query. But has anybody ever apprehended this that in their vain attempt to do so eventually there will be no crowd to stand apart from!!!! What will they do then?? What appalled me the most the other day was to learn the fact that people are actually spending a lot of their money to acquire these special V.I.P numbers because they believe it will make them V.I.Ps !!!!!!! People will make way for them and stare at their cars when they pass by. I was rolling on the floor laughing at those poor rich socialites whose peanut-sized brain fail to acknowledge the realities of life.
Don't get all grim.....I am not blaming anybody for this because man himself has stepped into this quicksand and I am very sure he can't get out of it quick enough to be saved!!!!!!
My love and sympathy....XOXO.......

Training........

I was never fond of NCR and no personel grudges but Gur-gaon repelled me the most. Maybe i was biased but each time i tried to free myself from it, it's people and my experiences there forced me to hold on to my prejudice even further.My second year final examination ended on 30th of May '09 and I reached Gur-gaon on 31st. My training started the very next day. The first day went in a blur. I couldn't recall much about it except for the part where a girl named "Ishween Kaur" came to my desk and invited me to have lunch with her. She was the first, well maybe not friend but my acquaintance there. That's when my apprehensions of being in an "Alien World" started waring off and I felt at home. The people in the office were very welcoming and my mentor was kind and helpful. Unlike other mentors i'd heared about from my friends who had training earlier i considered myself fortunate! Fortunate because I wasn't asked to get copies and scans of their reports and wasn't treated like a "Peon" which most of my friends were reduced to during their training days. Instead I was given a book to read. A book which I'd to read from nine in the morning till my lunch time and after that till it was time for me to go back to my pg.It was interesting but reading a core electrical subject right after two days of one's exam marathon can drive anybody insane! Working in a MNC is very enlightening and challenging too. It arose a new urge in me. Earlier I never saw myself working in a MNC, having a 9 to 6 job was never on my agenda. Well I don't see myself being a part of it even now and that's when I realised what I really wanted to acheive at the end of four years of my engineering. Coming to the training part, my day started like this -Getting up at 6:30 in the morning and going to the office empty stomach because the breakfast didn't arrive in time. I'd to walk for about a kilometer (or maybe it appeared to me as such in the heat) for the auto. Then another ten -fifteen minutes wait for the auto to get filled with people and ouchh...... somebody stepped on my foot! My clothes completely crushed and by the time I got down my hair was a complete mess! The drive to the office is not over yet... after getting down from the auto I frantically look around for a rickshaw, because that's the only means of transportation from the famous "Palam Vihar Chowk" to my office- "Siemens". Now before I proceed further let me fill you with the explicit details of the road i'd to travel on each day to reach my destination. Calling it a "Road" will be an insult to the other roads and my apologizes. It was a pit disguised as a road to trick innocent by-passers like me. The journey was bone-breaking especially if one had to sit on a rickshaw. The trauma is not over yet, here comes the part where my bargaining skills come into picture and which i prove time and over again that i am a naive at! Giving the rickshaw-puller much more than he deserves because i don't want to start my day with a fight always makes me an easy victim of their conspirational exploitation! Then finally I enter the office premises and rush to the third floor, because that's where my department is. The next few hours are..... well not a third degree torture but it certainly tops the first and second degree! If there was a disease called "BOREDOM", I could die of it.
I wait eagerly for the hours to tickle by and after every ten minutes check my watch to see if it was time...time for me to go. I didn't hate my workplace but there was "NO WORK" for me !!!! Sitting idle for eight hours can get on anybody's nerves. Finally I get out of the office and come back to my pg.
The pg was a communal ecosystem and being a part of it was very enlightening. There were a few girls who were extremely introvert and there were others who's fubbling never stopped. Studying their expressions and behaviors gave me an insight to their actual self. A few were transparent while there were other who were a little dark and complicated. I personally was never keen to observe people and their behavior because I had this notion that I was trespassing. But I had met a person sometime ago who taught me a very important aspect of life...something which I am going to carry on with me for the rest of my life and it is - studying the people and the environment around myself. Although I found it a little offensive in the beginning but I also realised that it was inevitabe for social survival these days......
I'd some wonderful time there with the friends I made. We laughed and danced and played together. We talked and worried and at times got melancholy too.I also had some horrible time.......but that comes with the package i guess.....the package called "LIFE". I made new friends and lost some old ones and during my stay in Gurgaon this summer I learnt "Everything happens for a reason. People change so that we can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that we appreciate them when they're right. We believe lies so eventually we learn to trust no one but ourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

excruciating pain....

A great man once said-
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve and too short for those who rejoice.
Very true indeed and who better than me can know this. I can't seem to regret the decisions that brought to face to face with these situations, they also brought me to a new level of understanding. A new level of "ME".
As i stood on the threshold of a very crucial phase of my life i found myself looking back into time. Wished i could do a few things differently if not change them, but time once gone never comes back and all you are left with are memories.
This year has unfolded a new part of me, a part, i, myself was flabbergasted and at the same time too befuddled to acknowledge in the beginning. But as i let the truth sink in, it gave me an ineffable self satisfaction. I was once told, "There are some pains one has to enjoy, while there are others for which one should feel rancorous." I believe the first suggestion appealed to me and i choosed it to get through this personel holocast. Even though the pain was excruciating but i choosed to enjoy it and despite the innumerous attempts of stabbing me to half death i stood up each time and survived.
I have a friend who is constantly running away from any difficult and painful situations in life. But as i look at her i feel myself stronger and more than ever ready to deal with the difficulities of my own life. i've realised the best way to deal and get rid of one's misery or grief is to feel it. Realisation is the best cure to all pain and in some fortunate cases pleasure. But i've realised that realisation is a very scanty these days. And those who realise it are often the centres of public mockery. So does it mean that we give up being human because others have turned into insensitive, living corpes?? Does it mean that we live our lives like those mechanised robots who are developed to show emotions but will always be robots in the end!!!! I guess i dn't have to say.... We already know what we've turned into..........

Did it ever happen to YOU?????

Did it ever happen to you that you are in a room full of people but still you miss someone? Did it ever happen to you that you are walking alone but you feel someone walking by your side? Did it ever happen to you that the only person you really want to talk to, you can’t anymore? Did it ever happen to you that your eyes swell up with tears of wanting something so bad but you know you can’t have it back anymore? Did it ever happen that you wake up in the middle of the night only to find your pillow wet with the tears you shed during your sleep? Did it ever happen to you that you are walking bare feet on broken glass but you can’t feel a thing? Did it ever happen to you that everything you ever planned, everything you ever wanted was right infront of you but all you could do was look at it and not have it? Did ever happen to you that the person who loved you the most in the world; didn’t anymore? Did it ever happen to you that you fell so hard that not only did it break your ribs and bones but also your dreams and heart ?????
People tell me when god closes one door, he also opens another. But what if you don’t want the other door? What if all you want is what is behind the closed door ? Does it ever open back again? They say you have to fight for everything in life. But what do you do when you don’t know what you are fighting for? And what do you do when the person you have to fight against is- YOU!!!!
People say-
“Life’s greatest battles are the ones fought against ONESELF. “
One can lose battles with others many a times but the ones lost against oneself are the ones which mark one’s failure, because one loses a part of himself in it.
Maybe that’s the reason why we see so many successful failures around us today. They fight against the entire world to achieve what they aim for but in the process they forget to fight against their own monstrous vices which engulfs a part of them each day.
Did this ever happen to you????????

MEMORIES.........

As I got up this morning I felt an uneasiness sweep me. I took a look at the watch and it blinked back 4:55am at me. I've been surprising myself with my super improving levels of insomania each day now. I tossed and turned on the bed fighting to put myself back to slumber but all in vain. Finally I gave up and got dressed to get back to hell. Well you must be wondering what is hell? It is the place I study in. Not that it's hellish in any ordinary way but everytime I step into it I get nostalgic and a gust of melancholy hits me hard on my face. Lets just say my memories associated with it are not pleasant and a few of them which were- were like the LILY. Short lived but yes very beautiful indeed. On my way to class I picked up the newspaper and scanned the headlines when a piece of news attracted my attention. A MOLECULE THAT DELETES MEMORY!!! Now that's something all of us would like to get hold of. We all have memories we want to get rid of or never think of ever again. But my recent experience has only proved that the things we want to forget the most are the ones we think of the most! It's at these testing times that we realise how good our memories are. Well this molecule I was reading about was developed by scientists in Brooklyn which could make one forget a chronic fear, traumatic loss or even a bad habit. As I further read on my spirits were soaring high. I could finally free myself from the memories tormenting me for the past few months. But as I finished the article I was left with a dilemma. Was it the solution to my tormented sleepless nights? Did i really want to get rid of those memories?

As I struggled with my own thoughts throughout the day I realised sabotaging my memories was not the answer but embracing them was. And maybe I wouldn't call this place hell if I wasn't embroiling but pacifying my emotions associated with those memories.

All great love stories have tragic endings????

This is about a couple I know who loved each other immensely but fate had something else in store for them. When they first met they were totally into each other. They talked from dawn to dusk and tried to be together in every possible way they could. They talked and learned about new things each day. It was more like a parent-child relationship than lovers. Sweet and adorable. When I looked at them I almost envied them for what they shared. A companionship some people look for throughout their lives but very few are blessed with it. Unlike other couples they were not unsure or afraid to commit what they wanted- to spend their lives together forever. And maybe that’s why I m writing about them. Because today I find myself amongst people who are simply fooling around, not ready to admit that they might actually love and need somebody. This is something I’ll never understand.
Well as I was saying this couple was special in their own unique ways but they were human like you and me. They had their own share of fights and arguments and misunderstandings. But they always thought their love could overcome it all. But what they didn’t know was SATAN himself was plotting against them. No matter how hard they tried it just didn’t work. And on the Sabbath day of the love month hell broke loose. The guy disappeared. He vanished into thin air. The girl kept calling him, messaged him and tried everything she could to find him but all efforts went in vain. The guy never returned. The girl cried for days and nights and even at times thought of ending her life but like they say- life and death are never in our hands. They come when they want to and how they want to. One cannot rush life or death.
She went crazy. She hardly ate, never slept and cried throughout her waking hours. What happened to the guy no one knows . Did he leave her just because of a fight or did something actually happen to him? Did he not love her anymore that he could not see her tears or was he faking it all along? Guess we’ll never know. My friend is still in love with him and even if I really want to hate him but the way she talks about him makes me want to believe that he is a wonderful person. How can even SATAN see two wonderful people who love each other boundlessly be separated for reasons they no longer even remember!